Day 22 - (Some of) Your questions answered

I have only an hour and fifteen minutes (approximately) to type and publish this entry... But first, to choose a QUESTION to answer in Blog form...

Thank you all for leaving your questions for me, I promise I will answer them all by the end of this month. Now THAT is a promise I can keep. :)

I'm going to try and do these answers as systematically and fairly as I can... That is, since some of you asked multiple questions, I'm going to answer one or two of these questions before moving along to the next person. I think that will be the most efficient way of keeping everyone happy. I will say now, keep the questions coming... I'm likely to continue this whole Blogging Every Day thing well into May.*

So, today's question comes from Sean/@livin4hymn:

PC or Mac?

I decided to answer this one first, because it seemed like the most straight-forward, and, well, it was the first one he asked, so I guess that's fair enough.

My response to this is: I use PC, but I much prefer Mac. I'm pretty much stuck with PC, but if I had the choice/the money, I'd definitely opt for the Mac. In fact, even though I'm yet to purchase a Mac** I'm a bit of a MacFangirl. I never owned an MP3player, only an iPod Mini (that's right... I had a Mini, NOT a nano. It lasted me a good 3 years too), and my current phone is the almighty iPhone. Also, I'm considering going back to uni next year to study Graphic Design, and as far as I am aware, the graphic design industry standard is Mac, so getting used to using one as early as possible will be preferable. 

Wow... I guess, in my eternal optimism, I was hoping to stretch that answer out a little further. This doesn't feel long enough yet... ON TO THE NEXT QUESTION!!

This one was from Frances, in reference to the mention of my ex best friend's mum having the same birthday as me. 

'Why "ex best friend's mum"? Did you fall out, or did they move away, perhaps?'

To answer this question effectively, I'm going to tell you a little*** story, so gather round children and listen up close:

My friend and I were friends for about 4 years in High school****. I met her in Grade 8 in our string ensemble, and we were really close by the start of Grade 9. From that point, we considered each other to be best friends. She was fun to hang around, full of random quirkyness that always made me lol quite literally. After a little while, she started to get depressed. I won't disclose what this was about, but she started being really emotional about a lot of things. It's still anyone's guess as to whether this was actual depression, or a desperate attempt at attention seeking. Anyway, I felt as her best friend, it was (at least partially) my responsibility to cheer her up. Also, throughout grade 10, she found other people to be friends with. They never really overtook me in the 'best friend' position, but sometimes she liked to talk to them and do stuff with them more than with me. In hindsite, I can see that my desperation to have a best friend (i'd never really had one before) may have resulted in some serious clingyness on my part, which would have made me seem really annoying. Anyway, I retained my seat, and kind of felt like I had to prove I deserved it, or something... actually, I'm not sure if that was behind it, but for SOME reason, I morphed into her puppet. I did everything she told me to do, because I needed her friendship. I became her underdog. This was fine for me while I was a whimpy little sheep (which many nerds tend to be as teens... this is often well before they learn to embrace their inner nerd) but as I started to mature, and develop my own, independant opinion, I found that she became more and more irritated with me. She had shown some signs of irritation whilst I was still in the sheep phase, which I figured was a given, but when I started to emerge from under her wing, she didn't drop the asides... in fact, they increased. I finally got to the point where I got sick of doing everything to please her, and started to do things that made me happier. This just seemed to make her angry. So she hated my clinginess, but she also hated my independance. This created a lot of tension between us. At one point, on a camp towards the end of Grade 11, my brother***** (whom she had been dating) dumped her, because she was being too clingy and depressed, and he was at his wits end. So, I spent the better half of that camp comforting her and offering an ear and a shoulder. Despite my dedication to our friendship at that point, the tension continued to build between us. There was lack of respect, jealousy, turbulent emotions, you name it. Everything known to mess up friendships was sitting in a massive blender, whirring around, inflicting its damage. The next camp (music camp, early Grade 12), everything spilled over, and (ba-da-bing, ba-da-boom) we had a falling out. This was really tough on me, because as Queen Bee, she managed to pursuade most of our group of friends to side against me******. Then, in my emotional turmoil of having been abandoned and told 'I hope you die' by the one person who I had considered to be my very best friend*******, I turned to my trusty MSN Space (hey, at the time, THAT was where it was at. EVERYONE had a space) and let loose. I ended up losing a few more friends that way, but again, in hindsite, wisdom and maturity has shown me that these people weren't really my friends anyway. This controversy between us brought all the truth bubbling to the surface, not just in us, but in the people spectating, and those caught in the middle. The rest of the year was like treading on eggshells. At the Formal******** which I attended with my boyfriend at the time, while every other girl was complimenting me on my dress, the only thing she had to say to me was that my sister had missed a few strands of hair when she ran the die through the night before. Throughout the rest of the year, we just drifted further and further apart. We congratulated eachother on speech night for our respective awards, and I attended (with a group of friends) her graduation party. Since then I've really only seen her a few times. Once, in the year after High School, we met up in the city, and I told her I was sorry for my contribution to our falling out. I never got her reply, but I don't think I need it any more. The next time was at My 18th party, which I invited her to out of politeness. She ended up trying to pair me up with one of my best friends from church. Needless to say, he was not impressed. Neither was I. The next time I saw her was at her 18th, about a month later. A very different environment this time, this was the group of friends who I had left behind after the Falling Out. They were all intent of drinking themselves blind, and I was not. I was not alone in this boat, and so a few of us left the party for about half an hour and got Hungry Jacks; not so much because we were hungry, but because it was infinitely less boring. Anyway, since then, I've seen her maybe once or twice in passing. She's still exactly the same. I haven't noticed any significant changes since High School. I look at myself now, and see huge changes. I've never had a best friend since, but I kind of don't feel the need for one. I still have friends. Different ones to High School, but friends all the same. I have a strong opinion about a great many things. I have learned to embrace who I am, and to resist the pressure to change me to suit other people. And I've learned that being unpopular is actually more fun. So, was it a positive experience? Not really, no. I wouldn't say that. But was it worth it? Yeah, I'd say so. I'd like to say that if I had to do it again, I'd do it the same, but I don't think I would. If I had the priviledge of keeping the wisdom gained through this experience when I warped back in time to repeat the shaping years of my life, I would do the whole thing SO MUCH BETTER. I would have fun, not sweat the small stuff, foster friendships with better people and embrace my nerdiness. 

OOOOk, I SWEAR that is all I have to say. MAN it feels good to get it out. 

I hope that wasn't too many asterisk points for you. I'll try not to do a repeat performance. 

And it is now 12:30am, and I was supposed to post this a little sooner, but I really don't care. I mean, wasn't it worth the wait?

Don't forget to keep the questions coming, and DON'T FORGET TO BE AWESOME!!!!

<3

*1) because getting back into the swing of things makes me want to stay in the swing of things and 2) because I still feel guilty for missing so many days of what could be the largest collaborative blogging project the internet has ever seen... and to think this is going to grow more and more each year. I have no basis for this claim, other than I have no evidence against it. After all, it could still be true... I just don't know for sure. 

** It's one of my goals this year to save up and buy a Macbook... I'm putting all of my KRudd money towards it. I have a friend who owns the new MacBook, the one that's all environmentally friendly... that's the one I want. 

***What I mean by little, of course, is an epic tale to rival the Lord Of The Rings trilogy...INCLUDING the Hobbit.

**** High school in Australia, or at least Queensland, goes from Grade 8 to Grade 12, so this friendship lasted a good 80% portion of this period in my life. Primary runs from Prep (which used to be preschool) to Grade 7, and we don't have a Middle School.

*****yes, my twin brother. The very same.

****** Even after publicly stating that she didn't want to split the group. I know now that this was her-speak for 'I don't want anyone to side with YOU' 

*******Just to rub some salt into that wound, the night before she made THAT statement, she wanted to know who I had a crush on. I was hesitant to tell her, and she pursuaded me with the classic "You can tell me anything... we're best friends". I promise you, every word of it is true.

********That's our version of the Prom... Our school only gives one a year, and only for Seniors. Usually (but not always) they are a closed event, so only enrolled students may attend.