OK, so i'm in a bit of a weird mood, and Blogger was simply BEGGING me to open it up and update... which i said i'd do more often anyway... So, i'mma blog y'all! (hey, i did say i was in a weird mood.) :P

I... just don't feel like doing anything anymore. I feel like I'm chasing my tail, if you know what i mean. I'm throwing so much effort into trying to get my life off the ground, and it gets me nowhere. And that makes me miserable. I just feel like, what's the point? It's not that mind doing the work (I don't, in fact, I quite enjoy it) but there has to be a point. There has to be a goal, a reason for me to bust my gut. And it kind of kills it for me when the few people who are supposed to be supportive of me are giving their own agendas higher priority than mine so much so, that it hinders my progress to the point where I just want to give up entirely.
I'm talking, of course, of my job, and my so-far-feeble attempt to save for a car. It seems like, no matter how hard I try, someone else will always find a better/more urgent use for it.
I seriously think that I will just buy a MacBook pro with the current savings and be done with it.
Sorry that so far this whole post has been non-stop whining. You probably wanted to read something a bit more interesting than this. I really wanted to write something more interesting too, but this was just eating away at me and I needed to vent. Also, I figure getting this off my chest will allow the funner, more interesting stuff to write about flow more easily. ~reads over last sentence~ yeah, not too sure if that made any sence... I hope you kinda get what I mean.
Anyway, it sucks to walk in circles, and I'm tired, and now I'm blabbering and my writing is starting to go in circles too, so I'll stop now.

Hope you're all doing well

Lucy

Oh yeah... I ~nearly~ forgot

So I was at work today.


That's it. I was at work today.

Oh

OH you wanted an ANECDOTE you say? Fine. Here's your anecdote.

So I was at work today* and I was busy reorganising and tidying the lipsticks, when I found a Ladybug. Yeah, i know, rite? What's a ladybug doing in a chemist? I wish I knew. I tried asking him, but he wouldn't speak. I think the poor fella was in shock. So, anyway, the humanitarian inside me decided to jump out and take care of the poor thing. I tried moving him, but I guess the shock had left him paralysed, so I picked up the lipstick he was perched on and showed him to a couple of my co-workers**. Their reaction was quite unprecedented. Me being the kind of child who grew up happily playing in the garden searching for ladybugs in the orange tree, I was not expecting the level of squeamishness coming from my coworkers. One sadist among the bunch even suggested we spray it with perfume :O ~gasp~
Fear not though, good friends, for I defended the helpless creature with my very life (or something to that effect - I saved him in any case). I took him outside to the garden next to the carpark. Oh, and I named him Bob.

The End

*this actually happened yesterday, but I didn't blog then either... Oh whatever. Just play along.
**and I just have to say, he was definitely show-worthy. He was a handsome orange specimin who had about ten or twelve spots on his back, and as far as Ladybugs go for size, he was pretty huge.

-- Post From My iPhone

Noticible Improvement

So, as promised in yesterday's post, I am, indeed, back. Even if only for a sentence or two (but hopefully for more :D)

I am feeling a whole lot better than I did yesterday. Partially because the yucky feeling I had hanging over me is gone for now, and partly also because I had the day off work, for the first time in what feels like forever. I actually went in, because I thought I did have to work, but upon my arrival, and to my slight shock and indeed, my relief, I was not rostered. This was slightly odd, because they usually tell us when they want to change our regular shifts around, but on this occasion, they failed to do so, hence the confusion. I wasn't the only one who was baffled by this revelation - my manager (who does not control the roster) was also unaware that I was off for the day.

So anyway, confusion aside, I had the day to myself. I went back to bed and read Heroes magazine (the periodical based around the tv series - shut up. Dr Who has one too :P) and my sister went for a swim. Oh yes. You read correctly. A swim. In the middle (middle? end. August is the END) of winter. Because today's temperature was supposed to reach at least 30ºC, or 86ºF for those of you who swear by the imperial system (though I can't think why you would. Metric system = WIN). I decided to avoid this venture, because despite the temperature of the air, the water was still very cold. Then, well, I just relaxed. I'd forgotten what it was like to have 2 consecutive days off work. I feel a lot better.

To make things even better, I'm going to see my sisters perform in their musical tonight. Mum has already gone along to the other 2 shows, but the Saturday night show is historically the best night to be there (I should know, I was involved in the annual musical every year at highschool. Always as a dancer) because, well it just is. It is the culmination of all the hard work, and the whole team has just hit this groove, where everything runs like a well-oiled machine and they're all buzzing on that performance-night high. I miss that part of the year. I remember wanting to cry after I came off on the last night in year 12. Knowing that I'd never be a part of the fun there again was a bit sad. Having said that though, I enjoyed every minute I was there and in the action and don't regret it in the slightest.

OOOok. Enough reminiscing.

I've done my time for today, so I'll leave it there. I really can't wait until blogging feels more natural again. This feels like work. ~so out of practice~

That's all, folks!

So I'm gonna skip the whole rigmarole of filling you guys in on where I've been and what I've been doing lately, since my life, it seems, has become so boring and repetitive that I find it difficult to find the energy and inspiration to sit down and share these things with you on a day-to-day basis. Mostly because it bores me to tears enough just living through parts, so I do my best to try not to RElive them. But also because most of my life lately, is just not share-worthy.

I am determined, however, to change this. I will at least try to clock in here at least daily, even if only for a few sentences, just to tell you guys what's up. Shareworthy or not. I miss blogging a lot. Like, a LOT.

I guess this is what it feels like to have writer's block. I just can't think of anything else to say.

All I can think about is how much I really really REALLY want a car and my licence and a MacBookPro, among other things, and how no matter how hard I try, how hard I work towards these things, circumstances always seem to conspire against my wishes. I really hate being so vague about this, but it's a sensitive issue, so that makes it kinda hard to disclose anymore details about it. But at the same time, I haven't had the chance to share this with anyone yet, and it feels like it's eating me from the inside out, so I can't keep it all to myself either. I'm like a pot about to boil over.

It just feels like I can't get anything right. I can't figure out what to study, I don't hang out with friends enough, I don't do enough chores, I don't have my licence yet, I don't have a boyfriend while one of my older sisters just got engaged and the other is getting close. All I do is work a nice safe job in a nice quiet pharmacy, and try to convince myself that I have it good and that it is enough. But I'm not listening to me. I don't want to hear what I'm trying to tell myself. I want to believe that things are all good. But they're not. Pharmacy work is fun, but it's not what I'm built for. I avoid doing a lot of things (hanging out with friends, engaging in meaningful relationships with real-life, tangible people, giving my time and effort and self to people or worthy causes) because in the past I have been hurt or disapointed or taken advantage of, and avoiding things is my coping mechanism. But at the same time, it's locking me up. I'm sacrificing my freedom to avoid the possibility of pain. I'm not striving for my independence as much as I could, or should, because I think, in some sick twisted way, I subconsciously don't think that I deserve it, so I'm sabotaging my own life and happiness through the medium of laziness and procrastination. You can't see this because all you can see are my words on your screen. But believe me. You don't want to see me in this state. It's messy.

Ok, wow. I haven't written such and emotionally-charged blog post since Valentines Day. And I was actually trying to be detatched about it.

Sorry guys. I'll be back to my normal self soon. I hope.

Shortest post ever... Possibly...

Time to service el bloggo. I have five minutes....
Ok so the new channel is up and running :D. I'll link everything when I get home.
I'm kinda sleepy today. I slept in this morning, giving myself 10 minutes to make the bus (which I succeeded at *yay*) because after waking, I decided to catch up on tweets. Yeah. Can you say "Twitter obsession"?
Anyway, I'd love to stay and write more but I must get back to work. But never fear! I shall return!


-- Post From My iPhone

Twitter

I have just finished a thorough purge of my followers on Twitter.

Ok, that sentence standing alone makes me look kinda mean. I mean, shouldn't everyone be allowed to read my tweets?

I thought so for a long time, but since Twitter imposed its own spambot purge, I've been thinking about how much value I place on how many followers I have.

Don't get me wrong, there are quite a few people with whom I interact with on a relatively personal level. I can quilte honestly say that, while limited to URL-style interaction, I still feel a certain amount of love for these people. I know it's not the same as having a friend you can physically meet up with and spend time with in person, but I don't feel like that is any excuse to not like these people the way I do. In fact, I'd tell you guys some stuff I wouldn't dare to tell anyone else I know IRL (which, by the way, is a HUGE deal). I just want to make it clear that it is not these kind of people I have a problem with on twitter (quite the opposite, in fact. These people are the REASON I use Twitter).

No. The problem I have lies with people who follow me not to hear what I have to say or find out what I'm doing, or even to stalk me (which would be more flattering than their actual reasons, I would say), but with the vain hope that if they click the follow button below my picture, that I might follow suit and return the favour. (Ok, let's be clear. Even after Twitter's spambot purge, there are still many bots out there just in it to spruke their wares or direct you to sites of questionable morality (read: porn). These are reasonably easy to identify and block, but let's face it, just as annoying as the aforementioned [1 f? 2? idk] "follow-me-plzkthx" followers).

Nothing annoys me more than clicking on one of my followers and seeing that I am one of not 20 or 30 or even 100 people being cyberstalked by them, but one of 2 or 3 thousand. That doesn't really stand to make me feel like my tweets are being heard. Not because I'm vain and attention seeking and want people to listen to me whether they like it or not, but because THEY followed ME. For goodness sake, guys, this is TWITTER. Not FaceBook. Following someone is SUPPOSED to mean you VALUE their point of view, or find them funny, or entertaining, or inspiring, or friendly. Essentially, you have found a connection with this person and following their twitter feed is a way of maintaining this connection, even if they don't follow you back. Another thing is that I found it really easy to make friends with a fair few of my followers. The thing playing on my mind: Why do friendships fall into place so easily with some followers, and yet with others, nothing happens? Obviously they are using Twitter for different reasons.

Ok, so I realise how messed up and all over the place my thoughts are on this, but bare with me. I'm not saying EVERYONE has to use Twitter for the SAME reasons. But I have my reasons for using Twitter. My account is like my little cyber-bubble, where I can interact with whomsoever I wish, for my intended purposes. If it's my personal bubble, then I can choose who to block. I have no intention of being mean here; I'm only being practical. I blocked a lot of followers who, I assumed, would not miss the presence of my tweets. I mean, for someone following 3000 people, you hardly get 3 seconds on screen before other tweets have pushed yours down. 2999 is hardly much of a difference. If I do get a message from any of them asking why I blocked them, and would I please unblock them so they could follow me again, because they thought I was funny and missed my tweets, then I'd unblock them. No problem. (The same does not apply to the spambots or the pornbots. They stay blocked forever.)

Oh yeah. Another thing that irks me about some of these people following hundreds or thousands of other twitterers, is when their own tweet count is only, like, 2. That's kind of abusing the system.

Anyway. Long story short, I blocked pretty much anyone following me who I couldn't see myself potentially developing a friendship with. This is the reason I joined twitter. Not to broadcast my views, or video/blog postings (although that comes in handy) but to meet and get to know the interesting, quirky, wonderful people out there in cyberspace hidden among the spambots. At least now, I can say I have a following of wonderful, interesting and quirky people, instead of a larger following of bots. Quality over quantity.

I'm getting to that stage where I feel like my point has been made, but i keep thinking of new ways to put it across, but really I am just repeating myself. So, I'll wrap it up there, and I wanna hear your thoughts on this. Leave comments, or write your own post about it, and link it in the comments. Let's have a good old discussion about Twitter Etiquette.

Before I go, good luck Beth with orientation at the new school, good luck Fran with the new craft store, and there's a few of you out there moving house, etc, so good luck with that too, I hope you all get settled in smoothly and quickly.

That's it for now.

***EDIT***

Ha, just spellchecked, and one of the suggestions for 'spambot' was 'spearmint'. ~giggle~ Sorry spellcheck, but spambots hardly leave my mouth feeling fresh. :P

Also, am currently in the middle of redoing the bedroom. Will be acquiring a new bookshelf soon (I know I tweeted that a couple of weeks ago, but it has still yet to eventuate.) Also, further down the track I'll be upgrading my bed, but not before I get me a car, and probably a MacBookPro too, since these 2 things are of slightly more importance than a bed.

Anyway, I've got to leave it there, IRL friends await, so have a good night/morning/day/afternoon/wheneveryoureadthis and I'll see you soon :P

Microbloggin'

On lunch again. Haven't really done that much to speak of, but I have another 4 1/2 minutes of lunch to go, so I figure I'll use the time productively instead of refreshing Twitter constantly to get my lunchtime fix.
I have so far recieved not 1 but 2 expressions of interest for the penpal collab channel. This is really exciting, guys! Never been in a collab before so this'll be fun! For those of you wondering, the other two people are Sean and Beth. Just then realized that all our names are 4 letters long :P and just because I'm a nerd and find these things interesting, I thought I'd mention it. No relevance. Just coz.

Anyway, my time's nearly up. Better go. Will write more sooooooon :D

PS. If you are still interested in being in our collab, let me know really soon please. Details in yesterday's post!


-- Post From My iPhone

On lunch and bored

So I had a little brainwave last night. Those of you stalking me via my Twitter feed will have some idea of what this is... Maybe...
If not I'm about to outline it here, so don't panic :)

Ok, so it was Beth (aka bethsavoy aka easavoy) who gave me half of this idea. She probably didn't know this but she did. Yesterday she mentioned something about posting letters to people. Like, snail mail penpal stuff. This got me thinking. The other half of the idea came from the fact that I've been thinking about doing a collab channel for some time now, and this seems like a really cool and original way to do it.

The idea is: a penpal collab channel. Basically, you get 2 or more people writing letters to eachother, but you must open and read every letter on camera, and record your reactions. Then, for every letter recieved another must be sent in response. The basic aim would be to get to know eachother and let others join in on the fun. Also, if you already participate in a collab, you may be in this one too if you so wish. It won't operate like a traditional collab, with allocated days. Instead, videos will be uploaded when letters are recieved, as there is no accounting for the international mail service.

I'm really kind of excited about this idea, and I don't know how many people we'll need to get this off the ground... But please let me know in the comments if you want to do this, even if only for a little while. Also my contact email is in the sidebar, if you want to send contact details (don't put those in the comments! :S) or DM me on Twitter :)

That's all I have time for, back to work now :)
TTFN


-- Post From My iPhone