Poster's Fervour

It's funny, since opening this tab again yesterday and posting (twice lol), all I've been able to think about is how much of my life I haven't documented here. How much of the story is missing. I'm sure there will be plenty of time to tell those stories and fill in gaps; but there's nothing quite like reading a post written while the memories were fresh and coming back to it years later and discovering those lost moments and thoughts all over again.

I know this is in part poster's fervour. Right now in my brain this is the shiny new (well, definitely not new, but renewed, perhaps?) thing, so naturally my brain has latched on. I know in a week, or even a few days, this will fade, but fuck it. Let's capture what we can while we're here, on this open tab, in this headspace.

Enjoying the Summer Sublime

 

This isn’t my first mango of the season. It is delicious though.

I have been trying to allow myself small indulgences on the weekly grocery shop. Without an income and while stretching my savings out as far as they’ll go, this isn’t always easy to do, but I can afford a single mango every second or third shop. 

I only get them when they’re good. Properly ripe, firm but not too firm. Made the mistake of buying one that was too firm once - never again. 

It is really nice though, to just have something to enjoy for a few minutes, that is only available when the weather is teetering on the edge of too hot. That is symbolic of the best that the season has to offer.

What could be more sublime, after all, than that stray drip of mango nectar dripping off your chin? Than slicing each cheek into cubes and inverting them, for bite-size chunks ready to eat? The messiness, the sweetness, the satisfaction as it settles into the pit of your stomach reassuring you that all is delightfully well?

That mango was really good.

Choosing which void to shout into

Fascinating that this blog, untouched for years, can on its return to active posting still somehow find its way into 35 sets of eyeballs (theoretically*).

When I started this blog in 2009, I didn’t have any such analytics tools at my disposal to manage its performance. I can’t say for sure whether that might have impacted my approach. I have been thinking about that a whole lot lately.

Hasn't blogging changed in that time?

Humour my lament a moment; I miss the days where all my friends had their own blog, where I could go and I was completely in their space. The whole look curated to their tastes, every word exactly where they put it. Maybe an ad here or there if they were lucky enough to monetise, but it was like visiting them in their house. As has been widely documented, the advent of Social Media brought an end to that, and now we can't visit our friends at their own places anymore; we only see each other in online spaces that have been HIGHLY curated for us. Like only being allowed to see your friend at a café, and all the cafés look exactly the same. Also now every time you visit the café the menu has been ever-so-slightly adjusted, or put in a new place, or has disappeared altogether, and the little number placards on the table have become covered in so many ads they're spilling out onto the table top, and randoms from other tables keep coming over to join in your conversation, to the point where the table keeps getting bigger to allow more people to sit down, until the table is SO big you look around and realise you can't see your friends anymore. Even if you post, there's no guarantee that they'll see it, and vice versa. 

So here I am, back on my blogspot bullshit. It's nice and quiet here. Come in, have a cuppa.

*theoretically because there's no way to know if those 'eyeballs' were just scrapers or bots. Honestly, how can we even know?

Visiting the past (now with edits)

I recently found this blog again (and my login for it) so I thought it about time to reemerge. 

Hello! Welcome (back) to my blog.

This thing has existed since one night when I was nineteen and bored and saw a bunch of online friends doing it. I’ve been going back through some of those early posts, and my word, I truly thought I was saying something. Besides the cringey late-00s internet nomenclature, there was just nothing to it. 

The posting cadences, and style, fascinate me the most. I think maybe I was using it kind of like Instagram (without the classic filters) and kind of like a diary (not dissimilar to how I used to post on my Windows Live Space). I think it would have been another year or two before I got Instagram (that was 2009 or 2010, I think?). I do remember in that early period, in a desperate attempt to force productivity from myself, I set a posting schedule of once every three days, come hell or high water. What resulted was a lot of  "I have to post so here is a post of me saying I have to post" and little else. 

There was also slew of posts featuring a photo, with the title serving as caption. The images are so old they no longer load, but the captions persist as a mystical clue to the graphic they pertain to.

Don't go searching for these posts, I am in the process of archiving them. I’ll keep them for posterity, but the world needn’t see. There's plenty of nonsensical slop on the internet (thank you AI). I needn't make the problem worse.

———

I return to this post with edits and additions, in the form of further observations.

I just read through, not all, but a good handful of my existing posts. What stuck out to me, besides the above, was:

• I was always so hard on myself. Such pressure to post to a schedule and 'punish' myself when I failed. Why did we do that to ourselves back then; why was that the prevailing culture?
• I posted a lot for the sake of posting. The still-very-fresh thrill of publishing myself to the internet was my driving force. For the dopamine, probably. Sure is a fun way to post, and a terrible way to read.
• (Though at 36 I am still not diagnosed,) This blog could go a long way to convincing medical assessors of my neurodivergence. My prevailing theory is AuDHD, but until ratified by a professional I remain an enigma lol.
• The internet slang of 2007-10 aged TERRIBLY, and my use of it was also terrible.
• The 'bit' of me talking to my 'audience' must have been fun to write (otherwise why stick with it with such commitment?) but wow it is grating to read. To any readers who ever read those posts and felt condescended to, I'm sorry. I had insufficient social skills to guide my communication or writing, as a result of the insufficient guidance that defined my upbringing.
• I think the part I am saddest for, is the girl I was. I remember feeling so trapped by a lack of direction. In retrospect, I needed a lot more support than I had access to, and a lot less judgement than I was subjected to.
• The religion shit pops up every now and then. As a writer’s note, I spent the majority of my upbringing trying to be a good girl, and my parents defined that as a good ‘Christian’ girl. My twenties were largely comprised of my deprogramming from this way of thinking. This had a simplifying effect on my life - religion, and all its inherent contradictions, had a complicating effect on everything. I may expand further on this another time.
• I truly thought graphic design would be my thing. Maybe I was just excited to have a career direction for the first time in my life.
• I wrote many posts before developing the capability to self-edit. I am pleased to report I have since acquired this skill.

I will likely continue to ruminate on my output here. In fairness to my younger self, I did the best I could with what I was given. I will try to treat her with the compassion I needed back then, instead of the reflexive judgement I was subjected to.

Here's to growth 🥂

(Is that the first emoji to feature on this blog? Certainly an upgrade from all the ':)' faces. Times sure do change.)

Setting Up An Artist Portfolio Website - A Listicle

An unfortunate thing happened a little while ago to my portfolio website. When my partner first helped me set it up he added it to his own hosting service (which was convenient at the time) - a few months back, he accidentally let his hosting expire, so all data was lost, and now I have to start again from scratch.

This has been a blessing in disguise though, because I never felt particularly attached to any of the themes or set-ups I've had in the past. A fresh start was necessary, I think.

This time around I have the benefit of past experiences to help me avoid common mistakes, and that got me thinking. Back at uni we were required to create a portfolio website for our art, and I saw a lot of those mistakes coming up all over the place. That's what happens when you get artists to be their own web designers, I guess!

I thought I'd collect my lessons in bad design here, as a what-no-to-do kind of guide for artists who need to put on the design-cap for the first time.

Most of these mistakes are common, especially among creatives, because we love the process of getting messy and trying new things. The trouble with that approach though, is at the end you're left with a big ol' mess!

SO without further ado, don't do these:


1) Artworks as background

In an art portfolio, you want your art to be Front and Centre. The background is a support, like a gallery wall. You don't want to make the work of showing off your art even harder by camouflaging it. A simple background (black or white, or somewhere between on the greyscale) is usually all you need. Additional details like vignettes and drop shadows usually go in and out of vogue but I've always found the simplest design solutions are also the most timeless.

The neutral colour you pick for your background will also help your audience (and any potential buyers) to get a true sense of the colour of your work, so if you do venture outside of the greyscale even slightly, it pays to keep this in mind.


2) Colours, colours everywhere!

Like opening a fresh pack of pencils, the first thing a lot of creatives want to do when they are exploring design options is use as much colour as possible. I know you hate to hear this, I know all these wonderful options can be overwhelming; but listen to me: this is a mistake.

One remark I heard a lot made by fellow artists at uni, while developing their works, was just how much versatility they could get out of just a few materials. Your pack of pencils might have every colour of the spectrum, but imposing a limitation can generate fantastic results that might have otherwise eluded you in your enthusiasm to try it all. This theory also applies to web design in a big way.

Keep your palette minimal and clean, and select colour with care and context in mind. Again, remember to keep the artwork front and centre.


3) Using every font in the library

I have genuinely seen the most atrocious websites where artists have tried to use a different font for every line of text.

Please don't do this.

It takes the mind a lot of effort and energy to switch back and forth between different fonts while reading. This may cause the reader to lose their focus on the content of the text - it's distracting and will only be detrimental to the presentation of your work.

Like with colour, less is more. At most, find one fancy or bold font for larger titles (such as your name on the homepage), otherwise stick to using a simpler font family for other headings and body text. Sticking with the same font family will create a sense of unity across your website - this will only help to build your 'brand' as an artist. I recommend a solid sans serif like Museo or Avenir; leave Times New Roman for printouts of your uni readings.

And for the love of god, avoid Comic Sans like the plague. No one will take you seriously otherwise. Papyrus too, if you don't want to be inextricably associated with every low-to-midrange naturopath and day spa in your area. And every other area. Oh god, it's everywhere! *cringe*


4) Hierarchy, Hierarchy, Hierarchy.

There's nothing worse than looking at a webpage and not knowing where to look. I have definitely struggled with this on my website.

Basically, you want to use the design elements of the page to guide the audience to where you want them to focus their attention. Layout; font style, size and weight; and colour are the primary means of this. We've already looked at colour and font, but we haven't touched on layout yet.

The first step for layout is picking a theme. Regardless of what platform you choose to use, be it wordpress, squarespace, joomla, etc. the first step is to pick a theme. There are countless options out there that are ready to be selected and customised, so how do you find the right one?

Use search words like 'portfolio', 'clean' and 'minimal' to find the best options that will help your work shine without overshadowing it with a bloated range of features.

You will need to know how you want your images of your works to be viewed before you even get started. Does each artwork require one photo or many? Do you want to group your works together into collections? Do you want to display the images all on one page to scroll down, or in a side-scrolling gallery? Again the options are limitless, but always come back to the original question: what will present your work to the world in the most optimal light?

Once you've selected a theme it can be customised in any number of ways. Remember, you can always select a theme that suits 90% of your needs and customise it to suit you later (with a little help and a lot of googling, anything is possible!)

It also helps to look at some fantastic examples. Find artists who do work similar to yours and see if they have a website. Take a look, and note down what you like about the website and what you don't like. Every observation is a lesson, and can guide you to a better overall design.


This should provide a good starting point, but remember there are still so many more things to think about as well: the quality and style of photography used to capture your work, how much or little text to include with each work, how long/short to keep your artist statement or bio, the list goes on. Done right, your portfolio can be a fantastic promotional tool for your practice. Just be careful to avoid the pitfalls!

Developments

Happily, I can report, I am making progress on the selling-things-with-my-patterns-on-them front.

It's slow, but it's progress. The heat hasn't made it, or anything productive, easy of late. If you haven't heard from every other whinging Aussie on the internet, we're having a heat wave. Parts of the country are hitting 45+ degrees for 5+ days in a row, which is unheard of. But, as the leaders of this great keep insisting, what climate change?

But yes, progress.

I have now secured a domain, I have my Sole Trader ABN*, and the next few set-up steps are underway - all the boring stuff, like getting my business name registered on ASIC, opening a business banking account, getting a PO box, etc. For most of this I seem to be working backwards. I'll try to complete one step, but then discover more steps to complete first, then more steps before that.

I will get there though. Momentum is starting to build and I'm excited.

Although no one reads this blog anymore I still plan to post here once it is up. For posterity if nothing else. You just never know when a digital archaeologist might stumble across your little blog hundreds of years in the future (does data even last that long?).


*Australian Business Number for those of you playing at home

I bought a paper shredder today

and I think it's just about the most cathartic purchase I have ever made.

I know the symbolism is kind of lame (I'm destroying that which is no longer relevant to my life wow how deep) but like, it just feels good man.

~~~

Life has been a little stagnant lately, and it's juuust getting to the point where I'm uncomfortable enough to take action.

I'm still in the same job, the same position in fact, that I've been in since I started at my current workplace nearly 4 years ago. I'm seeing people who started after I did move up and away into more exciting (or at least more permanent) roles. I've finished my degree, but there's precious little I can do with it. Not that I regret doing a Fine Art degree; they're just not practical.

But, there have been little shining steps of progress lately. I signed up to play in a pit for my second show this year - I played in Next to Normal a few months back, and I'll be doing Oklahoma! in September. I started taking dance classes again after about 5 years. Just this week I volunteered to write reviews & interviews for an Artist Run Initiative (ARI) in my city, and I'm participating in a group exhibition with a group of my fellow graduates from uni. Slowly, things are beginning to happen. And it's nice.

~~~

This is all in and around one big main project I've been wanting to do, and doing in very small parts for a little while now. My artistic tendency has always revolved around patterns, so I've been trying to hone my style and technique and (as wank as it sounds) 'find my (visual) voice', so to speak.

Basically, I want to sell things, with my patterns on them.

I don't know what things, and at this stage I don't really care too much. Well, I do. I should. But I care more about the patterns than anything else. The pattern is the product.

So I'm trying to basically not just hone my 'voice', but to create products, and market them, and sell them. I'm at the set-up phase now, where I'm figuring out how much it will all cost, and oh GOD it's depressing. It's going to take so long to get it all set up, then get the first few products up to start gathering capital to get everything up and running. But I mean, it's expensive.

My struggle though, truthfully, isn't so much gathering the capital, or figuring out what I need to do (I've been 'figuring it out' for a while now). It's doing it. The thought terrifies me. It shouldn't, but it does.

So I do all sorts of things trying to avoid doing it. I stream whole seasons on Netflix, I churn out more patterns, I take up more hobbies, I skilfully fill my hours with everything but what I know I need to be doing, and it's beginning to feel like an ulcer, an irritation that I can't stop picking at. But if I just did it, it would be underway and I could get to the next thing. Then I think about the next thing and start feeling terrified all over again, and justified in not starting at all. It's all too scary.

Seriously though, I can't go on like this.

So today I bought a paper shredder. And I'm getting rid of all the bits and pieces taking up the space that should be occupied by the more important things. And it feels good, man.

I have a serious problem

I can't seem to focus on a single creative task for more than a couple of days at a time. At best. My stupidly eratic creative mind gets bored very quickly. Before I've even had a chance to find the time to execute the original creative plan, I've had another three ideas. These subsequent ideas may or may not necessarily be better, but at the time they always seem more exciting. And so, the original idea dies before it begins.

Those among us who have in the past experienced Severe Creative Blockitis (it's a real condition... or at the very least if it isn't, it should be) or who may currently be suffering from it are probably thinking "What the heck is this girl's problem? Too many ideas is not a problem! Not enough ideas is a problem!". To those people I say, you're probably right. Too many ideas is less bad than not enough ideas. It only becomes a problem when I can't contain them all. A point which I passed a long time ago...

So, if you're the creative type, or are in any way creatively inclined, what do you suggest? What are some techniques for getting the most out of my ideas? What do you do when your brain is creating at ten times the possible speed of the execution of the idea?

To stop myself finishing on an open-ended question, here's a picture of

...oh never mind. Blogger photo-uploader is being a douche. Sorry.

Sketchbook Project

I found THIS blog a few days ago, and have been using it since as a cure for boredom in this first week back at work after the Christmas break. Since most other companies we deal with are still on holidays, including our own Melbourne office, there really isn't much at all to keep me busy.

Anika, the artist/author of the blog, participated in this little thing called the Sketchbook Project. I'd heard of it before, and always wanted to take part so this morning, whilst looking for more ways to cure my boredom (since I finished reading every last post on her blog yesterday) I impulsively headed over to www.arthousecoop.com/projects/sketchbookproject and signed up. I limited myself to just ordering the book, although I was tempted to go for the $75 digitisation and final artbook pre-order package. I may get the book later though, and I'm perfectly capable of digitising the book myself.

Gotta be honest with you. I'm quietly nervous, and just a little bit excited. Before this, I've never shared my art in this way. Now, my art will forever be archived in the Brooklyn Art Library with thousands of other fantastic artists. It may never be seen by anyone ever again, but then again, it might be. Point is, it'll be there.

I'll be posting some ideas I have and progress pics once the sketchbook arrives. Can't wait! *eek* Leave a comment if you're the arty type and will be filling up a sketchbook too. I'd love some company on what is sure to be a bumpy ride :3

Changes

I think I've finally decided what to do with this blog. I've also decided what I won't do.

I will not make myself post on a schedule, just for the sake of putting up content.

I will not put pressure on myself to make everything I post perfect.

I will treat this blog less like a portfolio of well-drafted thoughts and opinions; and more like a scrapbook of ideas.

I will be myself. Even if that means long hiatuses of laziness.

Because, I mean, really, who am I kidding?


If you're wondering what brought this on, I've just been thinking lately about how I don't really post much of my work online. Also, I need a space just to chuck the junk that I wouldn't put on, say, deviantart.

There's an awful lot more junk to post these days too, since getting my new job. I now work reception for an air-con wholesaler in the industrial district. Even when we're busy, there isn't that much reception work to do. So what happens when creativemachine gets bored with a pen in her hands? You're just going to have to wait to find out :P

I won't explain myself any further - chances are no one's going to read this anyway. Although, I did have a spike in page views a few days ago. No views for ages then *BOOM* suddenly 18 in one day. I know 18 is hardly anything, but considering the dormant nature of this tiny little blog that warranted 18 views on a good day back when I was posting frequently, an unexplained spike of 18 in one day is, well, a lot, and also kind of weird.

Sidenote: I nearly typed "alot" instead of "a lot" then. I don't normally make that mistake, but yesterday, I saw this and flipped. The internet just gets me sometimes.

ANYWAY...

Expect a redesign soon. I have a few ideas in the works.